A Spoof on California

The Quakenator

First came Arnold the Schwartzeneger

Then came “The Terminater”

Next it was “The Governater”

But this is not to be the end of the aters.

What’s next you say?

Arnold has a new plan to solve an old problem…

in fact it’ll take care of two of his problems.

He will introduce the Political Jump Contest. This

contest will pit Democrats against Republicans

in the most Democratic state in the nation.

No contest, you say? Watch!

The contest will be set for May First and will be

the first of state sponsored official annual

May Day Celebrations in California.

In this contest, Democrats, because they are liberal,

and everyone knows the most liberal are in the West,

will line up along the Western edge of the San Andreas Fault.

The Republicans, because they are mostly from the

conservative Midwest, will line up along the eastern edge

of the San Andreas Fault. At the stroke of noon

the Republicans will jump straight up and down,

followed immediately by the Democrats. This

alternation of jumping will continue for 45 minutes,

or until one side or the other finally tires out and falls down…

which ever occurs first. The group left standing

will be declared the winner.

Here comes the kicker…

Arnold, being the biggest and most intelligent

Austrio/Californian has determined through scientific

methods, that this continued oscillation along the length

of the San Andreas Fault will resonate deeply into the earth,

reaching to the deepest edge of the tectonic plates lying on

either side of the fault. This will effect a loosening of the

friction that holds the East and West plates together.

This will allow them to slip North and South,

releasing strain energy and causing the largest earthquake

since 1906, when San Francisco caught fire.

When the smoke clears the California of the West will have

fallen into the sea, taking her Democrats with her. That will

be the end of the California earthquakes... and his opposition.

Arnold will be declared Quakenater The Liberator.

Oh… and the annual May Day Celebration will then be called

the Califrornia Liberation Day Celebration.