Funerals

I went to a Funeral

I went to a funeral the other day…

Something strange was at play

Everyone was smiling I saw

Even down to the distant in-law

What could account for this behavior

Didn’t someone just meet their maker?

Memories of a life well spent

Could not darken this event

Fabulous stories and pictures all revealed

Events and celebrations of a life well heeled

Not of money but of love of family and friends

Like the Love from above that just never ends.

They were celebrating the continuation of a life

Which was now surpassing its final strife.

A Spoof on California

The Quakenator

First came Arnold the Schwartzeneger

Then came “The Terminater”

Next it was “The Governater”

But this is not to be the end of the aters.

What’s next you say?

Arnold has a new plan to solve an old problem…

in fact it’ll take care of two of his problems.

He will introduce the Political Jump Contest. This

contest will pit Democrats against Republicans

in the most Democratic state in the nation.

No contest, you say? Watch!

The contest will be set for May First and will be

the first of state sponsored official annual

May Day Celebrations in California.

In this contest, Democrats, because they are liberal,

and everyone knows the most liberal are in the West,

will line up along the Western edge of the San Andreas Fault.

The Republicans, because they are mostly from the

conservative Midwest, will line up along the eastern edge

of the San Andreas Fault. At the stroke of noon

the Republicans will jump straight up and down,

followed immediately by the Democrats. This

alternation of jumping will continue for 45 minutes,

or until one side or the other finally tires out and falls down…

which ever occurs first. The group left standing

will be declared the winner.

Here comes the kicker…

Arnold, being the biggest and most intelligent

Austrio/Californian has determined through scientific

methods, that this continued oscillation along the length

of the San Andreas Fault will resonate deeply into the earth,

reaching to the deepest edge of the tectonic plates lying on

either side of the fault. This will effect a loosening of the

friction that holds the East and West plates together.

This will allow them to slip North and South,

releasing strain energy and causing the largest earthquake

since 1906, when San Francisco caught fire.

When the smoke clears the California of the West will have

fallen into the sea, taking her Democrats with her. That will

be the end of the California earthquakes... and his opposition.

Arnold will be declared Quakenater The Liberator.

Oh… and the annual May Day Celebration will then be called

the Califrornia Liberation Day Celebration.

Start

Start The Day

I hate to be imperious

But let’s get serious

Start your day

The Comics way

And don’t dare stop

Till you laugh a lot

Power

There are three kinds:

Will Power

Helps get it done

Won’t Power

Is sometimes more important

I Don’t Care Power

Still sometimes wins

Mind Time

Silent serenity is found

In centering down

To the quiet thoughts

Wafting through the

Softly lit corridors

Of your mind

On gentle wings

Of hope

Rock N Roll

Not everything rocks

Sometimes you gotta

Roll with the

Punches

Be Yourself

Just be
Yourself

You're
The expert
On you